Think Positively

You are what you think.You are responsible for your thinking. Change your thinking and life will get better. But, what thoughts do you change? Your troublesome thoughts about a situation can easily be found in your self-talk. Self-talk is that inner running dialogue you have with yourself. It is what you tell yourself about life's situations.
http://www.lessons4living.com/you_are_what_you_think.htm
Everytime I woke up in the morning, a self talk begin search for a meaning.
"why should you leave your dream?"
"dream? What dream? I can't see it, could you?"
"what? didn't you enjoy it? You had a sound sleep, I don't understand.."
"no, I'm not living in my dream, am I ?"
well.
then I woke up...
"you are so bad yoday!"
"No...look I'm so handsome..,he2x..."
"handsome?ha2xha2x....what a crazy person say that.."
"well, at least a devil such as you is worse than me.."
"so, you are a devil..?"
"well, since you are still inside me, yes, you are.."
"ha2xha2x..."

Life is wonderful

kangamaylumpatjust made a call to my senior at headquarter office. A short talk occured when I was in my phone. There was no lip service, no familiar conversation, no flexibility, just order, order and order: ".. you should do this, this, this, this and this...then..you must.... Ok, good on you. Prepare your self to be back to normal".
A normal? Am I not normal?
Well ...

Better stand tall when they're calling you out
Don't bend, don't break, baby, don't back down

It's my life
It's my life
It's now or never
I ain't gonna live forever
I just want to live while I'm alive
(It's my life)
My heart is like an open highway
Like Frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I'm alive
It's my life

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Mulai kemarin ada sesuatu yang terasa lega dalam dada, plong...sebuah beban menghimpit usai sudah menguntit kebebasan akalku untuk berbicara. Entah berada dimanakah saya ini sekarang. Yang aku sadari, aku sedang membawa diriku dalam proses perubahan. Sebuah metomorfosa yang tidak aku sadari akan menghasilkan sebuah bentuk yang tidak pernah aku kenali dari diriku selama ini. Pertaruhan dimulai diantara ketidakpastian peristiwa yang akan aku hadapi nanti.

Since yesterday, there was something relieved in my heart....free...as pressure with burdens of responsibility was over, ended its surveillances in my talkative brain. I just feel as I don't know where I am. I just realized that I am bringing my self into a change. A metamorphism which I don't realize about. What were the impact? Were the result going to be something that I have known inside myself during my life? It is a bet which begin with uncertainty and contingency.